Step daughter who sees her Daddy and I once, sometimes twice a month wont mind. Threats don't work, she has no "room" at our place to send her to, and she wouldn't stay if we did send her, Dad dont like to punish cuz he never sees her and wants her to love him and me, but she is a little *****! She wont pick up, she cusses at her dad, she has attitude, she's a pest, bored, wants everything done for her like at mom's house, she wants everything bought for her, but we are less than broke. I tell her I'm takin her back to her moms and sometimes that works, but she's starting to want to go home.
We don't have a computer or CD player or anything to take from her, she smarts back and won't do time out, she's never phased by yelling. We get along for the first day, braiding hair, doing nails, girly stuff, then she gets demanding and bored. Dad stays drunk the entire time and seems not to care. I'm in a 1 room apt. with very limited funds living a nightmare for 3 days and am fed up.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Dad is the problem... She wants his attention and he is being a shmuck leaving you with the responsibility and she resents it. He needs to interact with her so she feels valued.
I'm sure you try your best to entertain her but you cannot compensate for his lack of interest and guidance.
What a crappy position to put you in!
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
You're asking how to make a 10 year old mind....and her father a grown man doesn't mind.
Start with the father first.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Time out is not for toddlers...
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
not to sound mean but most likely she is acting like this because she doenst like you and/or she is jealous that she doesnt have her dad to herself and needs attention from him
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
you need to tell your husband to deal with her.
Why is he drunk the entire time? what kind of father who only sees their child once or twice a month does that?
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Tell the little darling to stay home with mommie.
Hard enough to raise your own kid impossible to raise someone elses.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
if she is starting to want to go home, tell her she will have to stay and live with you unless she behaves properly
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
ya , ya need to suit up with a computerv or something {cell phone] that every kid wants, the leverage you will have. sounds like a lil paris :) goodluck
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
WHY?!?!?!?
Leave!!!!!
Get up and leave. If you don't have a computer how did you write the question and will you read this?
Leave!!!!!
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Stand up to this girl (both of you). If you want her love you guys - you need to show her you love her. By letting her get by with this behavior, you're not doing this.
Tell her, the next time, to stop it and grow up. You both deserve respect and your demanding it from her. Tell her if she wants to act like a child, you'll treat her like one and make her stand in the corner or something.
She might get mad, but she'll get over it and end the end, she'll respect you. Just make sure she knows how much you both love her.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Take her round the corner and shake her bloody guts out.lol
She is playing you.. and is probably a very confused child.Don't put up with her sh....t ! Tell her if she cannot behave don't come back until she can act her age
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Ground her and tell her if she doesnt shut up that she'll stay w/ u instead of going home...
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Bribery. Think of something she likes, and let her know that you'll do it... IF she behaves. Three strikes and she's out, and make sure you're consistent about it.
She will not respect you until and unless you give her reason to, and that means making sure that things are much better when she behaves (and gets rewarded) than when she doesn't (and gets punished.)
And Dad needs to get off his butt, put down the bottle, and be a dad instead of a lush.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Marry someone who is mature enough to deal w/situations instead of turning to substance abuse. Stop threatening and actually back up your threats.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
very easy ... put her over your knee and warm her "seat" of education....she will learn not to be a brat .... and no its not abuse at all ... you will be surprised how well it works
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
well tell her "do it or i will tell daddy about your boyfriend"it worked on me all the time now i am much more meture i am 12 now
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
It kinda seams like she mite be mad at you for not being around except for 1 or 2 times a mounth. Think about that, and the whole threat thing she won't listen to that b/c she knows that your not around long enough to carry the threat out..
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Frankly, this does not sound like a healthy envirnment for the child....dad's drunk all the time, and she doesn't have her own room at ten years old....? If Daddy's not paying enough attention to her and Mommy thinks that your home is a positive environment for her, I hope SOMEBODY takes her away from all three of you.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Maybe Mom needs to know that Daddy is drunk all the time. Then maybe the visits would be less frequent, or even cease. Not a healthy environment for a 10 year old girl. She is capitalizing on the fact that Daddy is drunk and won't punish her because he doesn't want to be the bad guy. She is playing you both and she is getting away with it. Time for a smackdown!
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
She is probably acting up to get her dads attention. If he isnt giving her attention and is spending the time drunk, then she doesnt need to be there anyway. This time is meant for him to bond with her, not to drive you insane. If you want to spend time with her, do so. Go get her and spend a few good hours. When she begins to act up, take her home. If he wants to see his child, he needs to sober up and take responsibility, after all, it is his child.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Maybe its about time for a smack on her bare butt! if she is out of control, then a whipping is the only thing that will bring her back under your control! try it and see.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
You really need to get dad involved. She knows already that dad dont care that is why she is acting out. Kids are so smart that way, she is probly not a bad kid, just a kid who is crying out for daddy's attention, it may sound weird, but when she yells %26amp; throws fits, you have to stay calm. Tell her when you are done, I will be back, I love you. And walk away. It may take time but she will calm down,and come to you. Dont argue in front of her to dad about his lack of attention, she will use that against you too. Also try to sit her down %26amp; ask her why she is so angry. tell her yu love her %26amp; want to help her %26amp; be there for her, That is a tough age I also have a 10 yr old girl, who is with me 6months %26amp; dad 6 months, she try to play us too. Good luck, and it doesnt hurt to give yourself a time out every once in awhile.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
I hate to burst your bubble but discipline is not your job; she's not your child. You should butt out and throw it all on Daddy Dearest. If you yelled at my child, whether it was a smart mouth or not, I'd break your jaw.
When are you going to figure out that the child hates your guts? She's not helpless so let her do for herself. You need to try leaving for the entire weekend when the brat is there and let Daddy figure out what to do with her. Can't you see that he is just using you for a babysitter?
Stop bribing her with girlie stuff because you see it doesn't work. If he won't correct the problem, I suggest taking a long leave of absence from both of them.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
That guilty dad syndrome does nothing for the child. She knows he isn't going to do anything if she's bad so why listen? He is the one at fault. She is a brat because she was raised that way. Its not her fault. It also doesn't help that she only sees you guys once or twice a month. Children need consistency. Once or twice per month is not going to cut it. I don't know what the situation is and why it is so little time but she is probably acting out because she gets attention when she is being bad. How does her mom deal with her? Does she act the same with her? If this isn't under control now, you guys are going to have lots of problems when she is 16 or so. Tell her dad that he cant feel guilty. Suck it up, be a man, and discipline that girl. His "love" and lack of discipline will only hurt her in the future. I hope things work out.
Edit: Why are you with that man? He's drunk all the time? Sorry I didn't read your whole post. I'm sure you love his daughter because obviously you are posting here, but do you love yourself? You need a real man that takes care of himself, you and if he has kids, the kids too.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Wow, the poor kid.
Mom won't teach her responsibility and give her the chance to learn to feel good about herself... and Dad is a raging alcoholic.
Any wonder she acts out? Maybe she feels if she acts up enough Dad might stop drinking and start paying attention to her?
It's not up to you to take time with her, though it's kind of you to do the girly stuff with her, this is really supposed to be time with her FATHER.
If he can't find the heart to stay sober for a couple of lousy days a month to spend time with his child, he really should just do her a favor and drop his visitation.
You can't set up any kind of meaningful punishment system in a couple days a month, especially if you aren't working with Mom on it.
Do her homework with her. Ask how her relationships with her friends are going. Don't be her friend, doing nails, etc. Be her parents. Parents who care don't buy their kids everything they want. They teach them the value of hard work. But again, as the stepmom you are on the fringe of this - if her father isn't interested in being in her life for real, you cannot fix it.
And, I'm no social worker, but I cannot see how the state allows visits from a child to a 1 rm apt with no separate sleeping space for the child. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it must make her, and you.
You are a better woman than I.
I'd have dumped that husband ages ago.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
Please, send her back to her mom's house.
She is suffering from lack of organization,scheduling and no positive constructive chores and a drunken parent.
She doesn't know what is expected of her and if she does them, what are the rewards.
She has a drunken father?
She see's him only once or twice and he can't stay sober enough to interact with her like a father should.
I feel sorry for her. She is angry, bored and confused about her feelings. She has no room of her own ,no father who really gives a_______ and then to top it all off sounds like her mom tries to make up for it by babying her and doing it all.
She has nothing going for her and you can't help her either. You're fighting a losing battle until mom gets the message.
Call the NANNY!!! 911
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
It seems like Dad doesn't spend time with her anyway, if she acts up, pack her up and take her home, she is not your child and you in no way need to not only babysit her but her father, put your foot down demand respect sounds like you earn it- If she has a CD player at home tell her to bring it. again this is not your problem- Mom can have her back and when Dad gets his life together he can go get her and deal with her, if he doesn't see her till she older then that is his choice and hers as well because she can't act right- You should not live a nightmare, this is a problem of his and his ex made-
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
BE FIRM - FAIR - FRIENDLY
BE CONSISTENT
GIVE CHOICE AND CONSEQUENCES
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
I would have a talk with the father about staying drunk and not helping. Its his child he should at least do something sound slike she screaming for help to me. She wants attention as daddy get out of the chair and put the beer down and go to the park. As for you hun look at him and say your child I have done all I can do and your both being 10 years olds.
When she starts the hissy fit. Let her get it out then look at her and say are you done now so we can actually talk like human beings instead of monkeys? (I pull this on my 10 year old son alot as well as 3 teenagers I have in the household) . lol
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
she is angry, very very angry- can you blame her? Look at what she has to deal with- divorce, new step mom, drunk dad? I feel sorry for her. Try to see things thru her eyes instead of acting like you are ten yrs old! You are supposed to be the adult here, get this kid to counseling, hell the all of you need to go. Maybe then after awhile things will change and all of you can be happy instead of so dysfunctional.
I wish you the best.
How do I get a 10yr old to mind? I don't hit and time out is for toddlers. She won't mind no matter what I say
A family counselor once told me that unless there is a strong bond with the child, a step-parent cannot discipline a step-child. It just doesn't work. It's up to her father to do the disciplining and from what you've written, he's not "there" to do that.
I don't see how you are responsible for having her over for visits if he is going to be drunk the entire time and I'd make that clear to your husband. Sounds like there should be some counseling between your husband and yourself.
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